Canadian physician and author Gabor Maté defines trauma as “an inner injury… trauma is primarily what happens within someone as a result of the difficult or hurtful events that befall them; it is not the events themselves. Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you… It is a psychic injury, lodged in our nervous system, mind, and body, lasting long past the originating incident(s)…”
Andrew’s Journey
Andrew,* 16, sat diagonally across from me on the love seat in my office. His parents divorced over three years ago when they were each 51. “Gray divorce” refers to a split that occurs in couples aged 50 and older. The divorce rate for this population has doubled since 1990, and researchers predict it will continue to grow by one-third by 2030. Many of these couples are seeking happier lives apart from each other. When they split, they often have minor children at home who describe their lives as anything but happy.
My therapy dog, Friede, lay curled beside Andrew. Her front legs and head rested on his lap. Softly stroking her head, in an exasperated tone, he asked, “How many people my age do you know who have a lawyer like Mr. Wells?”