Almost two decades ago, I (Carol) was chatting with Bart J. Carey, a collaborative divorce family lawyer, mediator, and adjunct law school professor. He said to me, “You know, adult children are stakeholders in their parents’ divorce.” This one sentence became the seminal concept for my future work with and writing about adult children experiencing their parents’ divorce.
Bart continued, “It began like any other consult. A woman in her late 50s called to make an appointment to inquire about mediation services. We asked if her husband would be able to join us. She would ask but doubted it. At the appointed time, she appeared alone. However, as she was filling out the information sheet, in trouped two young men with the determination that spoke of a sense of mission. They were her sons. One was 24 years old, and the other was 31. They had followed her to our office.
“One of the sons was married and the father of the only grandchild. The other was a recent college graduate still living in the family home as he attempted to launch his career and pay down student loans. They were adamant about speaking with me.